Symbiote Webcast
by EddieBrock2004
Summary: Venom and Carnage decide to start a weekly Webcast because they're bored from retirement. Rated T for language and some possible sexual content. (Discontinued)
1. Episode 1

**Hey Guys! First of all, I haven't abandoned my other fanfic (which you can read at:**

**Spider-Man Fanfic**

**Please leave a comment and any crossover suggestions!)**

**So I thought it would be cool if Venom and his son Carnage would do a weekly webcast so that's what I'm doing now! So here's how this will work: Carnage will announce the subject they'll rant about (whether it's a positive rant or a negative one will depend on the subject) and the guest star from the subject and then Venom will use a dimension portal device and pull the Guest Star out! Please comment what you want the next subject and guest star to be! ****And now, here they are... one of them's black and white and mean... the other's red and black and mean... and slightly insane...**

**I GIVE YOU... VENOM AND CARNAGE! (cue maniacal laughter)**

Venom: Thanks, ILovelucy2004... Wait, that's your NAME?

Carnage: Yeah, are you even a boy?

**YES, I am a boy, you jerk! I just chose ILoveLucy2004 as my name because Lucy was my dog who died last year! We had a real funeral for her and everything! That's how much I loved her, you bastard!**

V: Wow I'm really sorry dude, we haven't had a pet in ages, but animals ARE better than most people (looks at Carnage).

C: What, I'm a bad person because I made fun of a person's name? Is that it?

V: Yes.

C: Fine.

V: Anyway, Today we're ranting about the Spider-Man actors and how many there are.

C: Let's see... there's Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland, Chris Pine, Jake Johnson, and Shamiek Moore. That's a lot. Let's review who they are, shall we? Tobey was in the original, Sam Raimi trilogy, Andrew Garfield was the Not So Amazing Spider-Man, Tom Holland stole Captain America's shield and later turned to dust while crying, and Chris Pine, Jake Johnson and Shamiek Moore were in Into The Spider-Verse. Yikes. So who's YOUR favorite one, Daddy Dearest?

V: Don't call me that, CLETUS.

C: Oh that's too far, dude.

V: Well lets see, Not Tobey because his third movie made me look stupid, not Andrew because he couldn't save his girl, maybe Tom cause he's so innocent looking, not Chris because he died, maybe Jake cause he's how I imagine Parker at 40 years old, and not Shamiek cause he's a little weird. So either Tom or Jake. What about you, Carnage?

C: Tobey.

V: That guy's an emo crybaby! He cried more than his "girlfriend"!

C: Yeah, that's why I like him best. That's how I truly picture Spider-Man: an emo crybaby.

V: Not cool, dude. Not cool.

C: (troll face) LOL.

V: Well, fine then. that's all we have for tonight folks, be sure to leave a comment and suggestions for rant subjects and guest stars. Signing off, we're your favorite retired Symbiotes, Venom...

C: And Carnage!

C and V: TILL NEXT TIME!


	2. Episode 2

**Welcome to the second episode of Symbiote Webcast! Disclaimer: I do not own Venom or Carnage or anything else in my Fanfic.**

**BTW, when Venom says We, capital W, he means himself. When he says we, like normal, it means himself and whoever is with him or whoever he's talking about.**

**Here they are, folks! Venom and Carnage!**

**(Before we start, I've decided that they need a good theme song. So, please PM me with any theme song suggestions!)**

C: Hello, fans! Well, 2 fans... thanks for staying with us!

V: Today, based on a suggestion from TheGreatGodzilla, we will be talking about The Spectacular Spider-Man show. Man, that was good.

C: Speak for yourself. You got to be big and scary, but my character never left the asylum. JERKS!

V: Someone's pissed. Well, We think that it was good, but WHY did it have to be CANCELLED, after leaving us with a CLIFFHANGER?! SO UNFAIR! WE REALLY LIKED THAT SHOW!

C: Not me.

V: Shut up, Offspring.

C: Rude.

V: So, Carnage, do you think that Gwen and Parker make a good couple, even though he chose LIZ ALLEN, OF ALL PEOPLE, instead of Gwen for a bit?

C: I'm more interested in Mary Jane... (drooling) SO PRETTY.

**BTW if you've never seen what she looks like in that show, Google it. **

V: Yeesh. Carnage, you like HER?

C: (still drooling)

V: We still think Gwen is better. Also, We LOVE how they made us look... MUCH better than the Spider-Man 3 movie. (shudder)

C: Can we pull HER? (Mary Jane)

V: NO. We're pulling J.J.J. himself tonight.

C: NOOOOOOOOOO!

V: Yes. So, activate the portal!

C: (walks over to the Tesseract and pokes it) Ok, done.

(a portal appears)

V: (Walks over to the portal and yanks out J.J.J.)

JJJ: WHAT IS GOING ON?! Who are... oh, wait. It's you. Wait, I know him (points to Venom) but WHO are YOU? (points to Carnage) Are you some kind of clone?

C: In a way, yes.

V: So, J.J.J., what's it been like sharing a show with Spider-Man?

JJJ: What do you mean, sharing a show with Spider-Man? If anything, HE shared a show with ME.

V: OK, then, what was it like?

JJJ: It could have been better. But it was somehow still good, even though it got cancelled after only 2 seasons.

V: I know, right? Well, that's all the time we have for tonight, folks! Remember to leave a like, and suggest more ranting subjects, AND a theme song for us!

**Wow, episode 2! So exciting! I still haven't abandoned my other Fanfic, but I still need crossover suggestions, so PM me if you have any, and PM me with ranting subjects and theme song ideas for this one!**

**See you soon!**

**-ILoveLucy2017**


	3. Episode 3

**Hello again, guys! I haven't updated this story in a while so here's Chapter 3, and V and C are gonna rant about the Spider-Man game for the PS4, which, personally, I think is ****_FREAKING AWESOME! _****Also, a friend of mine proposed this question: you're stuck in a video game for 2 weeks, and if you die in the game, you die in real life, but if you live, you get to keep whatever you earned in the game and all the special powers and abilities you got. What game would you choose? Tell me in your review for this chapter! I choose Spider-Man: PS4. And feel free to PM me with suggestions for future rants and check out my other fics! Here they are, ****_Venom and Carnage! _**

(opening credits and screen shows Venom and Carnage in their basement sitting at a table facing the camera

V: Hello viewers, today we will be talking about the Spider-Man: PS4 game that came out last September. What did YOU think of it, Carnage?

C: It was good, but I have some issues with it:  
1: Neither Venom nor I were even MENTIONED in it! We're some pretty big villains for that guy, and instead they used Mister Negative, and Doctor Octopus! Unfair!  
2: Where was the origin story? When the game starts, he's already been Spider-Man for 8 years and broke up with MJ. AND there's no mention of Gwen Stacy, or the Green Goblin, or Mysterio or a bunch of other important characters in Spidey's life. That's messed up.  
3: Aunt May NEVER died in real life, but at the end of the game she dies from the "Devils Breath".

V: Wow, you seem like you hate it a lot.

C: I don't hate it, per se, but I have some problems with it, that's all.

V: Well, We think it was great, MUCH better than some of the past Spider-Man games, ESPECIALLY the Spider-Man 3 game from 10 years ago. THAT sucked. The graphics were horrible, and when the characters talked, unless their faces were covered by something, their mouths either barely moved or didn't move AT ALL. THAT was terrible.  
However, in the new game, the graphics were pretty clean and smooth, and didn't look bad at all. And the storyline was relatively good, even if they left out some important things like the origin story and important characters like Green Goblin and Gwen Stacy. And the game had a lot of really cool things like the map, the side missions, the multitude of suits you can wear, the different gadgets, the web types... even if they couldn't have the Black Suit since there was no Symbiote part of his life. But my favorite suit is the Iron Spider from Avengers: Infinity War. THAT'S a cool outfit.

C: OK, I admit the gadgets and the map and suits and shit are cool, but they still left out some important story parts.

V: Yeah, but they must be setting up a sequel since they got that kid Miles with spider powers now.

C: Ugh, he's a horrible Spider-Man. He's like, what, 13?

V: Yeah, so?

C: That's a little young to be Spider-Man.

V: True. We still hope there's gonna be a sequel, or We'll go to Sony and threaten to eat them if they don't make one. (glances at watch) Oh, look at the time! Guess we better wrap this up. Please leave a like and review!

C: See ya soon!

**So that's Rant Number 3, hoped you liked it! If you haven't played the Spider-Man PS4 game, I strongly suggest you do. And if you have, tell me what YOUR favorite suit in the game is in your review!**


	4. Episode 4

**Hello, fans, and welcome to Rant 4! I have chosen Star Trek as the subject for today because I hate it. If you like Star Trek or prefer it over Star Wars (which, in my humble opinion, is 100 times better than Star Trek) than please don't bash me. That's just me. :) **

**Anyway, here they are: Venom and Carnage!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters present or anything that they rant about.**

**And from now on, Venom represents MY opinion of things, and Carnage represents anyone who disagrees with me.**

**P.S. if you like marvel the you should check out omg-hawkeye on Tumblr. He's a great artist.**

Venom: Hello again, tonight we will be talking about Star Trek and how INFERIOR it is to Star Wars.

Carnage: How dare you, Star Trek is WAAAAAAAAAAY better than Star Wars.

V: No, Star Wars is better. All they do in Star Trek is fly around in their pizza-cutter spaceship and screw things up on it. There's hardly any action, just... nonsense.

C: So? Great futuristic media isn't all action.

V: There's no great character arcs in Star Trek, meanwhile in the original 3, Darth Vader goes from bad guy to good guy, and in the prequels he goes from kid to good guy to Darth Vader again, to start the whole original series.

C: Yeah, but there's a lot of plotholes, like, how are there so many unguarded holes in all the buildings and stuff? That just gives the good guys an advantage. Was that purposeful, or was it just poor planning?

V: Maybe, but at least Star Wars has more locations than a couple of spaceships used over and over again. And the characters are cool and iconic. AND they have LEGOS.

C: So?

V: So, Star Wars is better.

C: What about the new movies? Those SUCK.

V: If George Lucas hadn't sold his company to Disney, MAYBE the new ones would've turned out better. But since Disney fucks up nearly everything they touch, the new movies are worse than the originals.

C: That proves my point.

V: No, it doesn't, just because 2 or 3 movies in a franchise are bad doesn't mean the WHOLE THING is. AND Star Wars has cute animals. Star Trek has, what, A CAT? No other non-humanoid creatures in sight.

C: Yeah, but the cat is cute enough to make up for it.

V: No single animal, NO MATTER HOW CUTE IT IS, can be better than DOZENS of unique creatures. And that cat looks like the cat from the Captain Marvel movie.

C: Big whoop. So Star Trek doesn't have any unique beasts. So there's only a couple of locations. It's still better.

V: Is not.

C: Is too.

V: Is not.

C: Is too.

V: Is not!

C: Is too!

V: Is not!

C: Is too!

V: IS NOT!

C: IS TOO!

V: IS NOT!

C: IS TOO!

V: SHUDDUP!

C: NO YOU SHUDDUP!

V: NO YOU SHUDDUP!

C: NO YOU SHUDDUP!

V: NO YOU SHUDDUP!

C: NO YOU SHUDDUP!

V: NO YOU SHUDDUP!

(Venom lunges for Carnage and grabs him. Carnage retaliates and they continue to fight, starting a dust cloud of fists and feet.)

V: (poking his head from the cloud) Well, thats all the time we have for tonight, folks! Stay tuned! (Carnage bites him) WE'LL GET YOU FOR THAT YOU LITTLE BITCH! GRAAAAAAAAH!

**And that's the end of chapter 4. I really do hate Star Trek for all the reasons Venom listed. Feel free to review and PM me with suggestions for future rants, and check out my other fics!**


	5. Final Episode

**Hello and welcome to the last chapter of the Symbiote Webcast! Today they will rant about the Area 51 raid happening this fall. It's on September 20, and if you haven't signed up yet, I suggest you do! We're going to raid it for all their alien and future tech and aliens, including space guns, jetpacks, super suits, and aliens! It's gonna be wicked. I'm gonna get my very own Symbiote, Iron Man suit and Sling Ring. Sign up now!**

**And here they are! Venom and Carnage!**

Venom: Hello fans! This is our final episode, due to unfortunate unforseen circumstances...

Carnage: You mean because we got evicted?

V: NO! Just because We decided that we should be done in case the cops find us by tracing our video.

C: because we got evicted, don't let him lie to you.

V: Shut the f-

**Due to technical issues, the broadcast has temporarily stopped. We apologize for any inconvenience you occur.**

V: We apologize that you had to suffer that, fans. We lost Our temper for a minute.

C: You almost beat the living Hell outta me, bitch!

V: We said We almost lost Our temper, kid. We were telling the truth. So quit your whining.

C: Anyway, tonight we will discuss the upcoming Are 51 raid. Is it just a hoax like the government says? Or are there real aliens and future tech in there, and it will be revealed and stolen? I think it's bullshit.

V: Maybe there ARE other aliens and stuff in there. The only way to know is to sign up and participate in the raid. WE signed up. We're going there the week before for the battle plan. We can't wait. We're gonna get laser guns... jetpacks... pet aliens... who knows what's in there?

C: Welp, I'm still not going. I'll be sitting on the beach drinking a Pina Colada and laughing at you suckers.

V: Suit yourself, dipshit. We'll be enjoying Our new alien buddy and future tech.

*A crash is heard from upstairs*

V: OH SHIT! THE LANDLORDS... We mean, MOVERS are here! We have to go, fans! Enjoy this last broadcast! Signing off, We're Venom...

C: And I'm Carnage! GOODBYE!


End file.
